5 Stages of Grief

5 Stages of Grief

• Denial
  
• Anger
  
• Bargaining
  
• Depression
  
• Acceptance

Working through the stages of grief is an important part of recovery from any trauma or loss. The term "stages" is a bit misleading. We might begin to think of the five stages as sequential, building one upon the other. Grief is not orderly or sequential. Some people start with denial and go to anger and on through the other five stages in sequence. But, most people start wherever they happen to be, and then bounce around from one stage to another. A better term might be "the 5 sides of grief" or "the 5 areas of grief." A better term than stages doesn't seem to be coming to me any time soon.

Nonetheless, each of these "stages" is something that we must allow ourselves to fully experience. Instead of shutting down our emotive experiences after a loss or trauma, we really need to embrace the feelings of grief and loss. Giving yourself permission to feel angry, depressed or confused or whatever. Let yourself truly experience the pain. Only then, are we able to move through our grief and into some sort of "acceptance." Acceptance is a part of the grieving process. It is not a place where everything is lolly-pops and sunbeams. Acceptance is the opposite of denial. I like to think of the stages of grief as a spectrum.

As we move from Denial, we may experience some anger, bargaining (wishing/wondering) and depression (more or less, and not necessarily in that order). After we've experienced these feelings--we've done it 'till its done--then we find ourselves at "acceptance." Then, we begin the task of reorganizing life after the trauma or loss.

It truly is amazing how a simple conceptualization of the stages of grief can empower hurting people to manage their pain. It gives them a road map to navagate the grief and the loss.